Data Claus is Coming to Town

Editor’s note: For the better part of two decades, Max Bowie has written an annual market-data themed column based on a famous Christmas carol. While we try and produce serious news and opinion, not everything needs to be so weighty. And, to be honest, if you give this a close read, it will give you a true sense of the market-data landscape. We hope you enjoy. Please send complaints to: Mr. Santa Claus, 123 Elf Road, North Pole, 88888.

Read to the tune of “Santa Claus is coming to town”.

VERSE
You better watch out,
You better not cry
This was the year of the cloud and AI
Data Claus is coming to town

He’s making a list
And checking it twice
To find out who’s using Nyse or Ice
Data Claus is coming to town.

CHORUS
He sees you when you’re spoofing
And how you place your bets
And if you’re running TCA
And adhering to BestEx

VERSE
You’d better mind risk,
Remember to hedge
Alt data can give you a 10% edge
Data Claus is coming to town

CHORUS
He knows how much you’re paying
And what you say you use
He’s reconciling invoices
And collecting data dues

VERSE
Your budget’s been cut,
Your numbers are set
Replace all your Bloombergs with Money.Net (yes, they’re back!)
Data Claus is coming to town.

CHORUS
He likes open-source software
And any tech that’s free
He’s making eyes at APIs
And interoperability.

VERSE
If you’re in a co-lo
Or if you’re on-site
Whatever you use, if you don’t report right
Data Claus is coming to town.

CHORUS
He knows all the exchange rules
All the definitions, too
If he finds any discrepancies
Then his elves will audit you

VERSE
He’s counting your servers,
Checking your cloud
Public or private, if you’re data-endowed,
Data Claus is coming to town

CHORUS
He knows your datacenter
And where you co-locate
He knows what feeds you subscribe to
And if your payment’s late.

VERSE
He knows your exchanges
And vendors of choice
He’ll boil your pet bunny if you miss an invoice
Data Claus is coming to town.

CHORUS
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows just where you live
And if you use Bloomberg at home, 
Or just Refinitiv

VERSE
You better watch out
You should be afraid
If your data is real time or even delayed
Data Claus is coming to town

CHORUS
He never gives a refund
For latency or lag
What’s in that sack upon his back?
Or is it a body bag?

VERSE
He don’t give a f–
He don’t give a sh—
He’s adding it up, he’ll do an audit
Data Claus is coming to town.
Yes, Data Claus is taking you down!